Three weeks after the momentous decision talked about in my “On Chucking It All and Going On the Road” entry, things have moved along dramatically, and the shape of my life is changing before my eyes.
My studio has now been moved into my office and I’m still unpacking boxes and setting things up. It’ll be a few more days before I can actually start drawing and painting again, but things are moving along.
I’ve also been selling a lot of stuff—books, CDs, DVDs, luggage, kitchenware, odds and ends. Feels good to be “lightening up.”
The property manager I found has begun advertising the apartment for rent and dealing with prospective tenants. I’m dealing with the limbo state of living between my steadily-less-homelike apartment and my in-office studio, and although I’m impatient to actually get all this preparation out of the way and be on the road, there’s so much to do every day I’m far from bored.
There are long lists of things to do every day, but it’s all getting done. I’ve finally learned, when faced with huge piles of to-do’s between myself and the goal, to not think about the enormity of the task, but just remind myself, sometimes forcefully, “I don’t have to know how everything will get done. I just need to do this one thing I’m doing now.” Amazing how well this works.
One item got taken care of in an unexpected way when the beautiful 21-year-old dancer who had agreed to model for me before I left messaged me on Facebook saying “I don’t feel comfortable modeling nude”. This is after an in-person interview where we talked about every aspect of the gig including my being absolutely clear that it was full-frontal nudity and making sure that he was fine with it.
Oh well. When I was 21 I didn’t always know what I wanted either. (I sometimes don’t now!)
Although I do know, with more clarity than I’ve had about a lot of things, that what I’m doing right now is absolutely what I want. As the day for my departure nears, it all still feels totally right. (Not that I don’t also get nervous and frightened at moments…like sometimes I’ll wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat…but I just breathe deeply and remind myself that if it wasn’t scary, it wouldn’t be exciting.)
Anyway, a few days from now, when all this minutiae is tidied up, I’ll get on the plane for Los Angeles, where I’ll spend a couple of weeks with my friend Gina. Once I’m there and finally away from Hawaii and my previous life, I hope I’ll be able to decompress and see more clearly what’s next. Although I do have the first couple of months roughly laid out. After L.A. is Albuquerque, where I’ll visit my brother and his wife, then I’ll head up to Nebraska where the rest of the family lives. While I’m doing this California-New Mexico-Nebraska triangle, my passport will be in California getting its Brazil visa renewed so I can head there 2 or 3 months from now. A friend has volunteered his couch in São Paulo.
I also might end up in Australia in October, meeting some Hawaii friends there.
And Puerto Vallarta is calling me again, too…
About travel and living in Hawaii: There are a lot of destinations I’ve fantasized about over the years but was too often stopped by the extra time and money required to get there from these isolated islands. I’m looking forward to being in places that are adjacent to my next exciting adventure spot, rather than always having to deal with the 5-hour flight just to get to a starting point for your journey. I love Hawaii and I’ll always come home to it, but I sure like the idea of already being in New York, for example, when I decide to go to Europe.
I’m writing this in the midst of chaos, by the way. The carpet-cleaning people are coming an hour from now and as soon as I finish this, I have to drag all the furniture onto the non-carpeted areas of the apartment so they can do their shampoo thing. Meanwhile I’ll be taking my Honda Element to the carwash to get it spiffed up so I can photograph it and sell it on Craigslist. That’s the last big thing to take care of before I leave.
Still haven’t bought my ticket but that will happen in the next few days. My next post, barring unforeseen happenings, will be either just before I’ve left, or just after arriving in LA. Or maybe it’ll get written on the plane…